Thinking About You Songfic
by BreezyFan
Summary: One-shot; Mal thinking about Natara. Song that inspired this story: 'Thinking About You" by Frank Ocean!


Hey guys! I wasn't planning on posting anything actually, since I have exams in a week so I won't be able to update frequently.. But I just couldn't help myself! This idea has been going around my head forever and I couldn't forget about it, so I decided to post it anyway. Enjoy!

**You are now Detective Mal Fallon.**

_A tornado flew around my room before you came_

_Excuse the mess it made_

_it usually doesn't rain_

_In Southern California_

_much like Arizona_

You used to be happy. You were convinced that Sandra was the love of your life. You thought you loved her with all your heart. And then, she cheated on you.

Your whole world collapsed. The damage was huge. It was like a tornado flew around and destroyed everything. The both of you went to marriage counselling, trying to repair the damage and save your marriage. But it was no use; your marriage had been destroyed beyond repair.

Everyone thought of you as the hotshot detective who wasn't afraid of anything. Yet you couldn't find the courage to break the news to your friends and colleagues. So you lied. You lied whenever people asked you about your ex-wife. Bottom line: you were a mess.

Until _she_ came. Natara Williams. The moment you saw her, you knew that she was special. The two of you just clicked. There is no better explanation for it. She quickly became someone you trusted and felt comfortable around. Up until the point that she was the first person that you told about the divorce.

She said that you'd be fine. And she was right..

_My eyes don't shed tears, _

_but boy they bawl_

_When I'm thinkin' 'bout you_

_Oh no, no, no_

_I've been thinkin' 'bout you_

_You know, know, know_

_I've been thinkin' 'bout you_

_Do you think about me still?_

_Do ya, do ya?_

Natara and you depended on each other in life-or-death situations. You trusted her with your life. And she trusted you. Naturally, the two of you grew closer because of this.

At that point Shawn moved back into the picture. You felt a little disappointed, maybe even a little heartbroken. But you knew that that was ridiculous. You only knew her for a short amount of time. She was never really yours. She's only your partner. So you distracted yourself with Tasha.

After the whole drama with The Hunters, you pulled back from the society. You needed your space, but most of all, you needed some time to process everything and explore your real feelings.

You found a way to cope with Tasha's death. After that, the only thing you could think about was: "what if they'd shot Natara? Would I be able to get over it?" And you knew you wouldn't. Just thinking about it caused fresh tears to well up in your eyes.

Eventually you decided to talk to her, tell her about the way you felt. Again, Natara was the first person you talked to after you were emotionally damaged. You told her that you never wanted to see her getting hurt. You even wanted to tell her that you loved her. But that's when Shawn interrupted. It made you wonder if she ever thought about how she'd feel if Shawn died. Or more importantly, how she'd feel if you died.

_Or do you not think so far ahead? _

_'Cause I've been thinkin' 'bout forever _

If she thought about it, she might realise how devastated she'd be if you died. Maybe she'd realised how much you mean to her. Maybe she'd even realise that she loves you back. If only she thought about it..

But she probably never did. Who likes to think about people dying anyway? No one likes that. Well, besides some psycho people maybe.

If Tasha hadn't died, you wouldn't have thought about it either. But she did die. And you did think about it. You've been thinking about the past, present and future. You've been thinking about _forever_.

_No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it_

_Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho_

Shawn and Natara didn't last. But not without consequences. Natara refused to talk to you, since you were the one who shot Shawn.

At the same time she was working closely with DA Dashing Oscar Santos. And you were afraid that something might happen between them. After all, he is quite dashing.

Eventually Natara and you started working together on the Mad Stranger case. It was a tricky case, because Mad Stranger was a freakin' genius. He managed to predict all your moves, before you even knew you had to make them. Somehow he found a way to poison Natara while you were locked up in a room with the mayor. The only way to save her is if you'd kill the mayor. And you almost did. It was hard to stop yourself from launching all your bullets in a person you didn't even like, to save the love of your life. But you stopped, and analysed the situation. You found a way to safe both of them. But before you fake-killed the mayor, he asked you if Natara was worth going to prison for the rest of your life. And even though you knew that she could hear you, you replied that she was worth everything.

You practically said that you liked her, and she still went running to Oscar. She must've thought you were lying. Or that you only said it because you were caught up in the moment. Ain't that freakin' great? Of course you were lying.. That makes só much sense... Maybe you should tell her that you were lying. And then you could ask her if she wants to buy your beach house in Idaho. Even though Idaho doesn't have any beaches..

_Since you think I don't love you_

_I just thought you were cute_

_That's why I kissed you_

_Got a fighter jet, I don't get fly it, though_

_I'm lying_

_down thinkin' 'bout you_

Time passed by and Natara and Oscar broke up. Around that time you had to go undercover with her, posing as a married couple. You were so comfortable with the whole act that at one point, you leant down to kiss her on her forehead. That has got to mean something, right? You and Nat pretending to be a married couple.. It just felt _right_.

Later that day, she told you about the break-up with Oscar. As much as you wanted to drive to his house to punch him in his face, you held back and tried to comfort her as good as you could. It wouldn't do Natara any good if you would do something reckless like that. He must be crazy. Who in their right mind would break things off with Natara? She's smart, quick with a joke and brave as hell! Not to mention breath-taking-beautiful. She became the light of your life, the reason that you woke up. And somehow Oscar managed to put that light out.

You hated him for it. You hated seeing her sad. You were honestly trying to comfort her. Trying to put that beautiful smile back on her face. Yet something happened between you and her. You had the sudden urge to kiss her. Even though you have that urge a lot, there was something different about this time. A part of you told you that she wouldn't mind it if you kissed her. That's when you stepped away. You couldn't do it. If something would ever happen between you and Nat, it had to happen the right way. Not like this. Not when she was vulnerable.

Still, you couldn't help but think that she should've felt something as well. It was pretty obvious that you loved her, since you knew you weren't good at hiding your jealousy towards Oscar. Natara, being the fancy FBI-profiler, should've picked up on that.

Although, maybe she thought that you were just playing around. Looking for some fun-nights. Nothing serious. Just like your relati... Whatever it is that you and Minka had going on. And of course you were playing around. All you wanted was datin.. Whatever it is that you and Minka had going on, with both Minka and Natara at the same time! After a "date" with Minka you'd just fly to Natara in that fighter jet that has been standing in your garage for years. That makes so much sense..

All kidding aside, if she thought that you were playing around, she was dead wrong. You were serious as a heart attack.

_I've been thinkin' 'bout you_

_You know, know, know_

_I've been thinkin' 'bout you_

_Do you think about me still?_

_Do ya, do ya?_

Those moments the two of you had while you were undercover, were the moments that you cherished the most. Those moments were the only moments you had with her as a couple. And you loved every second of them.

Even though the two of you were pretending, it still brought a smile to your face. Honestly, it was all that was on your mind. You couldn't stop thinking about the two of you walking arm-in-arm. Or when you were nuzzling noses. You even loved it when you were arguing with her about you putting your feet on the coffee table. It was like you were really married to her.

You wondered if she was re-playing those moments in her head as well. Hoping she couldn't stop thinking about you either.

_Or do you not think so far ahead? _

_'Cause I've been thinkin' 'bout forever _

Unfortunately, it seemed she could stop thinking about you. Or at least she tried. She got back together with Oscar.

Deep down, in your gut, you knew that they would never last. They simply couldn't last, because Nat was meant for you.

Yet she continued to waste her time on him and their relationship. Did she not know that the two of you were meant to be together? Or did she refuse to think about the future? Even though it was her future? A future with you. A future where the two of you are living happily ever after. A future that you've been thinking about a lot lately..

_Yes, of course_

_I remember_

_How could I forget_

_How you feel?_

She chose Oscar over you.. Does that mean that she doesn't feel the same way? It sure looks like it. Dang, are you the only one who feels that there's more than friendship between you and Nat?

No.. You're not the only one. A bunch of random people always assumed that the two of you were a couple. Bruce Mercer even said that Nat and you were a shining example of true love! He was right. What you were feeling was true love..

_And though you were my first time_

_A new feel_

_It won't ever get old, not in my soul_

_Not in my spirit_

_Keep it alive_

_We'll go down this road_

_'Til it turns from color to black and white_

Natara Williams was the one for you. The only one. The one you'd eventually settle down with. The one you'd truly love forever, unconditionally. The bond the two of you shared was unbreakable. You knew that your love for her would never fade away. You'd always be there for her. You were sure of that. Just as sure as the sun will shine every morning. For you, she was the future Mrs. Fallon.

Natara Fallon.. Yeah, you definitely liked the sound of that! You couldn't help but think that the two of you would make adorable, beautiful babies. Not to mention they'd be incredibly smart. The two of you would live happily ever after. You'd love her until her beautiful coffee coloured hair turned grey, and even longer. You'd love her until the end of time.

_Or do you not think so far ahead?_

_'Cause I've been thinkin' 'bout forever.._


End file.
